Stars Slowly Burning
by ByTheAngelIsThatWillHerondale
Summary: Will contemplates his relationship with Tessa and makes his final choice. One-shot. Please review! ;)
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! This is my first fanfic so please tell me what you think!**

Will Herondale sat on the steps to the Institute, looking up at the starry night sky. He wasn't even sure why he was outside, of all places, but tonight sleep remained out of reach. He sighed and leaned back, bracing himself with his hands, gazing up at the heavens. Sometimes he wondered why he couldn't just join the angels already, when his life was so torturous. For more reasons than one. But lately, he had barely been able to tolerate life at the Institute. Because of one thing, and one thing only. Tessa. The only girl he loved, had only ever loved, other than his sisters, of course. And now he could never have her. She was Jem's now, and he couldn't do anything about it. That thought had kept him lying awake countless nights, nights like these. But tonight wasn't just like any night. It was the night before Tessa and Jem's wedding.

Will didn't know if he could even make it through tomorrow. He was happy for his parabatai, but this was also the day he had been dreading for months. All of the heartbreak Will had been suffering from would finally come to a head tomorrow. And he honestly didn't know if he could handle it. Tomorrow he would have to wake up, put on his very own cocky, arrogant Will-mask, pretend that nothing could hurt him, could break him, and quite frankly, he was tired of it. Every time he saw Tessa, it was like yet another piece of his heart was shattering. And for that reason, he had come to a decision. But he still had to do one more thing.

Slowly, he got up and climbed the Institute's steps. He made his way back to his room quietly. Clicking the door shut behind him, he took out a piece of paper and a pen. He began to write.

He knew that Tessa may never read this, well, maybe she would, he thought, but it didn't matter. He still put all of the passion, heartbreak, and desire into it as if she would.

_My Beautiful Tess, March 1878_

_Tonight, as I watch the stars in the night sky slowly burn, I feel as if my heart is burning with them. I thought that the pain of losing you would become bearable over time, but I was mistaken. It has become quite the opposite, almost insufferable. It was like I died a little more inside each time I saw you; like a wound being re-infected, never healing. The only way to temporarily heal that wound was to stay away from you. But I could never stay away for too long; even though I tried my hardest. But you must understand; I do not blame you, for you made your decision before I could tell you or give you a reason to believe that I loved you. And I also know that you may not return my feelings, because of the way I treated you for so long. I trust that this letter will probably never find you, maybe it will in time, but if you are reading this, I am long gone. But remember one thing; I will never, ever, stop loving you. Even if I never see your beautiful face or hear your sweet voice again._

_Please, if you love me, or even care about me in the least bit, please, don't try to find me. It is better this way; at least I can bear my life now, and maybe let my wounds heal for good. I'd rather live at a safe distance where I know that you will live happily with Jem without having to worry about me. Please tell Charlotte and Henry that I love them; that they have been the best parents a boy could ask for, and that I wish them luck with the new family they are starting. Tell Jem I love him too, that I will miss him, and that I really am sincerely happy for you two's marriage. But most of all, always remember that you, Tess, are always well loved. Don't ever think that if no one cares for you, that you don't exist, because someone will always care about you, Tessa. If no one else, that person would be me. And don't ever stop reading, Tess. But remember: One must always be careful of books, for words have the power to change us. I'd like to think that I've been changed by books for the better._

_Keep me in your thoughts Tessa Gray. Don't worry, you'll always be in my dreams._

_As always,_

_Will Herondale_

_P.S. If you have found this letter, you have found that I have left you my most prized possession. Consider it as a wedding gift, or whatever you want it to be. It's yours._

With one last tear falling onto the letter, Will sealed it and slipped it gently into his copy of A Tale of Two Cites. He gathered some of his weapons, some clothes to last him for a couple days, and with that, he closed his door, never to enter his room at the Institute again.

Did he have parting regrets? Yes. Did he want to leave the place he had called home for the last 7 years? No. But he tried to convince himself otherwise as he started down the Institute stairs. He turned to look at it one last time before he stepped out into the cool air of the London night, the stars slowly burning above him.

**Reviews much appreciated! Thanks ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everybody! So if people want more stories from me, I'm working on two other fanfics: one is another infernal devices story and another is a Mortal Instruments/ infernal devices crossover sort of thing (called a double date w/ the herondale boys :) btw) PM me or review your opinions ;) thanks!**


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